ADVANCED FAMILY AND DEPENDENCY COURT MEDIATION

To law schools, ADR means "Alternative Dispute Resolution", because their framing of the world is that Litigation is the primary "go-to" solution for dispute resolution.  To the legal world, Alternative Dispute Resolution includes: Mediation, Arbitration, and Negotiation.

At SCFM, we view ADR as "Assisted Dispute Resolution", consisting of Mediation, Arbitration, and Litigation.  Because why should Negotiation be an "alternative" way of resolving disputes, when it's what we want to better empower people to do first, whenever possible.

Why ADE as Assisted Dispute Engagement instead of Resolution? 

It's fair and more accurate to call what we do "Assisted Dispute Engagement" (ADE).

Stage gate agreements are super-helpful, but let's be real.  Because the truth of the matter is, we are not wrapping up co-parenting conflict-based relationships with a neat bow and sending them out into the world to be conflict-free!  We are getting them to (what in Project Management is called) a "stage gate" agreement.  A stage gate agreement is an agreement along the way, at a moment in time.  

Flexibility is built in to every SCFM agreement.  Our agreements are designed to give people back their freedom, to return their control over their lives to them.  Unlike a typical court order, we include clauses for co-parents to make changes "...when the needs of the parents or children change" to the extent that those changes do not violate safety-based orders of the Court.

364 Hearing:  6-Month review hearing, is a court review of a child's case where the child is living at home under the supervision of a social worker. 

5150 Hold: 72-hour detention in California for individuals experiencing a mental health crisis.

5585 Hold: In California, a 5585 hold, also known as a 72-hour hold, is a legal process used to detain a minor (under 18) involuntarily for evaluation and treatment if they are deemed a danger to themselves or others, or gravely disabled due to a mental health disorder, and voluntary treatment is not available. This is similar to a 5150 hold for adults. 

CLC: The Children’s Law Center of California, Los Angeles are attorneys representing the children.

Co-mediate: Two mediators work together to help the families create their agreement.

Co-Parenting: Adults share parental rights and responsibilities for children, but do not live together.

Co-Parenting / Visitation Agreement: Created by agreement of the co-parents; commonly includes: A parenting time (or visitation) schedule, holiday schedule, and provisions for: Exchanges, transportation, communications, travel, vacations, and details ordered by the Court, and important to the families & kids. 

County Counsel: Attorneys representing the social worker and the Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS, “the Department”).

Dependency Courts: In L.A. County, there are approximately 35 dependency courts to preside over the safety of children, with family wellbeing as a secondary issue.

Family Law Courts: In L.A. County, there are approximately 65 family law courts to preside over the wellbeing and best interests of children and families.

Foster care system: Housing of last resort, sometimes a dangerous environment for children. 

LADL: Los Angeles Dependency Lawyers are attorneys representing parents in dependency court.

LG: Legal Guardian

LMI: Last Minute Information for the Court (from the social worker).

LMO: Last Minute Order of the Court.

Mediation: Voluntary assisted negotiation.

Minor’s Counsel: CLC.

Monitored Visitation: Supervised visitation.

PGM: Maternal Grandmother

SCFM / SoCalFamily Mediation: Southern California Family Mediation Inc.

Supervised Visitation:  Monitored visitation.

Visitation: If one co-parent has sole custody, another co-parent may have visitation time, not “parenting time”.

 A) SoCal Family Mediation disrupts the paths of children into foster care and gets kids home safer, sooner. We co-mediate Co-Parenting/Visitation Agreements and Adoption-Related Conflicts for families at all Los Angeles County dependency courts. 

A) SoCal Family Mediation is making the world a safer place to disagree by providing free and low-cost mediation and public education, based on our 11-years of 1,000 Mediation Lessons Learned.

A) SCFM is a transformation-based mediation program.

   Details) Our highest level of success and satisfaction is achieved when the conflict relationship is successfully reframed by co-parents and transformed.

A) SCFM employs a co-mediation model, meaning 2 mediators per mediation.

   Details) Co-mediators work together and shuttle between parents together.

A) SCFM is a teaching and learning organization where we sometimes observe each other’s co-mediations.

A) SCFM mediators are Omnipartial (Kenneth Cloke, Mediating Dangerously, 2001), also known as Multipartial (Bernard Mayer, Beyond Neutrality, 2004).

   Details) As preferred over “impartial” (in favor of nothing/no one).

   Details) Omnipartial mediators are in favor of all sides. This is a nuanced take on neutrality.

   Details) Omnipartial mediators actively negotiate with and for all sides.

     Note: The standard is: Fairness.

     Note: We take radical responsibility for every aspect of the mediation process, but never the outcome.

   Details) SCFM Omnipartial mediators consider it one measure of our professionalism to recognize and manage our biases.

     Note: We do not consider “unbiased” to be real, honest, or realistic.

A) We are a non-recommending “pure” or “true” mediation program.

     Note: Los Angeles County is a non-recommending California county.

     Note: “If the people don’t decide then it’s not Mediation.”

MEDIATION: voluntary assisted negotiation.

If the people don't decide, it's not Mediation.*

*That means no recommendation when no agreement.

Real Mediation is HARD!  Litigation and Arbitration?  I'm not saying they're easy, but when someone gets to just impose a decision on people, where's the challenge in that?

There are benefits that grow out of a voluntary process which cannot be achieved otherwise.

Lessons

1. To get creative, get curious.

     A. There's a lot packed into those 5 words.

2. Words matter.  

     A. Don't get pinned by a false dichotomy (a restricted choice).

     B. Take the time to learn how to pronounce everyone's names.

     C. Even better, what do their friends call them?

     D. Never mix up people's names in mediation.

3. Remember OPS: Organize + Prioritize + Strategize.

     A. Mediator, you are the expert; know what value you bring to the table.

"Sometimes, when you find mediation, mediation finds you." 

...Because there's plenty more where that came from. 

 https://www.youtube.com/@MediatorU